There are a few funny things I've been saving up for a while. Not sure why, really. Here's one of them: 10 Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained.
It's a spoof on some of the arguments put to oppose the ordination of women. I am not sure of its origin: this piece has been put around a bit by several friends. (Apologies to its original source, for my failure to acknowledge …)
But enjoy this anyway!
1. A man’s place is in the army.
2. For men who have children, their duties might
distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.
3. Their physical build indicates that men are more
suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It
would be “unnatural” for them to do other forms of work.
4. Man was created before woman. It is therefore
obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather
than the crowning achievement of creation.
5. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors.
This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching
6. Some men are handsome; they will distract women
7. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the
congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout
history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at
nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the
obvious choice for ordination.
8. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly
man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it.
Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in
positions of leadership.
9. Men can still be involved in church activities,
even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof,
change the oil in the church vans, and maybe even lead the singing on Father’s
Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be
vitally important in the life of the Church.
10. In the New Testament account, the person who
betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands
as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.