Charlie Chaplin (1889 – 1977) was one of the greats of the twentieth century: His contribution was made through comedy, acting, musical composition and as one of the most influential figures in the film industry. Like so many comedians, he was gifted with wisdom and insight, which he was able to communicate to ordinary people in simple (but not simplistic) ways. Two of his brilliant one-liners exemplify what I mean:
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
We think too much and feel too little.
Late in his life, he composed the following poem, which I savour deeply and commend to all my readers, regardless of how old you may be. He wrote this when 70 years old. My sense, though, is that it is not about the number, the years, but about the capacity to learn and to receive the grace that is offered to us all along. It is just such a pity that we take a life-time in learning how to live—beginning and, in a sense ending, with loving ourselves.
“As I began to love myself
I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living
against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is Authenticity.
As I began to love myself
I understood how much it can offend somebody
if I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right
and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call this Respect.
As I began to love myself
I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything
that surrounded me
was inviting me to grow.
Today I call this Maturity.
As I began to love myself
I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call this Self-Confidence.
As I began to love myself
I quit stealing my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects
for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness,
things I love to do and that make my heart cheer,
and I do them in my own way
and in my own rhythm.
Today I call this Simplicity.
As I began to love myself
I freed myself of anything
that is no good for my health –
food, people, things, situations,
and everything that drew me down
and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is Love of Oneself.
As I began to love myself
I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since
I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is Modesty.
As I began to love myself
I refused to go on living in the past
and worrying about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment,
where everything is happening.
Today I live each day,
day by day,
and I call it Fulfillment.
As I began to love myself
I recognized
that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick.
But as I connected it to my heart,
my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection Wisdom of the Heart.
We no longer need to fear arguments,
confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide,
and out of their crashing, new worlds are born.
Today I know: This is Life!”
I have chosen to add emphasis to the key words at the end of each stanza. I suggest it is worth spending time with each, perhaps one day for each. Here is wisdom and insight, with more than a little challenge. We are so deeply trained not to love ourselves, for all sorts of reasons, some of them good and some of them narrow convention. My sense is that we cannot love others meaningfully until we learn something of loving ourselves and accepting that we too are loved. Here is a deep and precious gem to savour. This is life!