I’ve just received a copy of the more recent version of Dag Hammarskjöld’s personal journal, Markings. Though I have read and returned to it many times, it is so good to hold it in one’s hands at this time. After Hammarskjöld’ was killed in a plane crash in Northern Rhodesia in 1961— almost certainly not an accident—his personal journal was discovered, later translated into English and published in 1964. Hammarskjöld’ was the second Secretary General of the United Nations and was on one of his many peace missions at the time of his death in September 1961.
Markings is essentially a spiritual diary, showing its author’s unstinting commitment to serve the one whom he considers called him to faith, even though consistently he expresses uncertainty, a sense of inadequacy and deep loneliness. In a famous passage he wrote of a mysterious question which gave his life its fundamental direction and meaning:
“I don’t know Who — or what — put the question, I don’t know when it was put. I don’t even remember answering. But at some moment I did answer Yes to Someone — or Something — and from that hour I was certain that existence is meaningful and that, therefore, my life, in self-surrender, had a goal.”
The recent ‘Vintage Spiritual Classics’ edition has a Foreword by former US President Jimmy Carter. Carter notes, as have other commentators, that the journal tells us nothing at all of Hammarskjöld’s public achievements, but it does show us self-doubt, loneliness, even despair. ‘His self-scrutiny is relentless, his standard for himself high: Always to live for others and for the glory of God, not for personal glory.’ These observations are well justified all the way through the journal. Just one entry, written two months before his death, shows these personal dynamics:
July 19, 1961
Have mercy
Upon us.
Have mercy
Upon our efforts,
That we
Before Thee,
In love and in faith,
Righteousness and humility,
May follow Thee,
With self-denial, steadfastness, and courage,
And meet Thee,
In the silence.
Give us
A pure heart
That we may see Thee,
A humble heart
That we may hear Thee,
A heart of love
That we may serve Thee,
A heart of faith,
That we many live Thee.
Thou
Whom I do not know
But Whose I am.
Thou
Whom I do not comprehend
But who hast dedicated me
To my fate.
Thou—
(Pages 214- 5).
Carter himself, though of a very different temperament, was also given to such intense demands. He once wrote of his commitment to excellence, using an anecdote relating to his training as a naval officer. At an interview he was asked by a superior officer where he had come in his class at the training academy. Carter proudly nominated his high ranking. The officer took no notice of that, but rather asked: But did you do your best? That challenge has shaped his life. When he was running for the presidency, he published a book titled, Why not the best?—which was his vision not only for the nation but for his service to it. His continuing engagement with so many causes for justice and peace ever since remains evidence of that commitment.
Currently I am working on a biography of my college Principal, Mervyn Himbury. I have a card he sent me in the week I was awarded the Bachelor of Divinity with First Class Honours—something he himself had achieved as a student in Cardiff. Himbury wrote to me: ‘The gifts which God has given you put a great burden on your shoulders for much is expected of those to whom much has been given.’ I still have that card and I have also retained that sense of obligation and the privilege it has made possible, to serve my community as Himbury did before me.
Hammarsjköld remains for so many an enigmatic figure of greatness. His intensely private life enabled his astonishing commitment in public affairs, indeed the whole world. At times a tortured soul, he was also a wonderful human being, a great friend, adventurer and visionary. His Markings invite us all to follow our own way, to answer that ‘question’ and to live into its promise of meaning, using all that we have been given, and accepting that we will not know and see the outcome or results of much of what we do. To limit ourselves to what we can see, in such a short term as our years, is to impoverish ourselves and the world. Ours are but markings along a much greater Way.
(pages 214 –
Thank You Frank. Some great words from some of the greats of the faith.
I shall buy the book on Principal Himbury – it will be worth reading because of the subject and the author
Thank you Barrie. The book is a way off yet!
I do hope it will be ready for the centenary of his birth, 2022.
Thanks for that Frank. It is of particular relevance to me on my current life journey.